Daily Blog · Infertility

Just Say Jesus

We all have a favorite song. There are so many different genres nowadays that I, personally cannot keep up. As a little girl being in tap, jazz & ballet for years, I favored towards the teen-pop, N’Sync, Britney Spears, and dabbled in to my country side of Shania Twain. Those were some of my first concerts my parents took me too.. Mom mainly! Dad came to Shania Twain, because c’mon, who can’t resist moving those hips and boots to some good ol’ lyrics!?

As I’ve grown older, specifically in 2013 which was my roughest, and best year. Getting married was certainly the cherry to it all, but that’s when my anxiety was triggered, just two months before the big day. I remember thinking my life will never be the same. I’m going to always have anxiety the second I leave my house, since that is where my comfort was. I tried counseling for a short time, and started to feel slightly better, but there was something I was truly missing, and that was my connection to my Lord Savior.

I started listening to the local worship station on the radio, and stumbled upon this group called 7eventh Time Down. The radio station played this song called, “Just Say Jesus”. At this point, I hadn’t developed the relationship I have with God today, but I knew I wanted that. I thirsted for that connection, and this was my “ah-HA” moment to start that journey. I heard this song and immediately felt a sense of freedom. A sense of no one can mess with me, and best of all, no anxiety!

Right away I bought the song on the trusty iTunes and when I say I blared that song on the daily, my neighbors probably heard it in the house and wondered what the heck is going on over there?! Now, at this same time my position working from home was eliminated. So, to add to the anxiety I didn’t understand I had from the getgo, to now being without a job, I was scared. I didn’t want to miss a Sunday at church here on out, and this song was now my safe-haven to that change I was taking.

By now, we are into 2014, time has gone by, I have now 2 jobs to support our bills, and still not making what I once was, so it was certainly a struggle for Danny and I. We have gracious parents who helped up, and for those that know us personally can remember the $150 that was left in our mailbox one day. We still don’t know who left it, but if you see this, please know we have never forgotten that moment; that paid our electric and utility bill for the month.

I never understood the connection I would see my fellow church-goers have with certain songs until hearing this song. Specifically, there is a beautiful woman, mom & friend I met at our first church who went through hell and back. Addiction caught the best of her, but to this day, I have always admired her to pull through all of that, and maintain such a strong connection with God. She became my goal of what I wanted with my faith.

At this point in my life, two years later Danny and I felt God leading us to another church, and over the past 3 years between both churches I can’t thank all of my fellow believers enough for standing by my side. My pastors continually praying for me, for Danny and I. I still blare this song, and enjoy every lyric, because in the midst of it all, when it gets tough, “Just Say Jesus.”

We all have different ways of getting through the worst. Whether that’s music, reading, praying, running, exercise (Crossfit specifically is Danny’s), and the list can go on; we all cope differently. Mine personally is music, meditation, prayer, and diving into the Word. This song holds a very special spot in my heart because that is what started this journey for me. My journey to lean on my Faith through the tough times, and believe wholeheartedly that He indeed only puts us through what we can handle.

Do you have a favorite song you enjoy listening to? Worship is not my only gateway. As I write this, I have a “Deep Focus” playlist running which really gets me in the mood to pour my heart out. I just went to see Carrie Underwood last weekend, and she gets me going in my boots! Music is an amazing gateway that dates back to the Bible. Psalm 101:1 reminds us to sing of His love and justice, and praise Him.

My God, I praise you in all my glory. I praise you through the tough times, the easy times, and the times that have yet to come. Praising Him for all situations draws you closer. As humans it’s normal to want to know the answer to every situation, and why it happens, but that is not always the case. We may never know why we go through certain situations. Danny and I may never know why we are going through infertility, but one thing I can promise you is, when the day comes for us to bask in the excitement of me getting pregnant, all of |this| will be so worth it. We will appreciate that baby more than I can put into words. Thank you, Jesus for all Danny and I have come through together. We would not have it any other way.

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