As ‘just the two of us’ draws near, I begin to process the book we’ve written thus far.
The book. The chapters, the ups & downs. You name it, we’ve been there. God certainly knew what he was doing when He gave me you.
I cannot believe we are weeks away from becoming parents. Just 9 short months ago we were saying how far this moment seemed. In fact, two years ago we felt this moment would never come, and I’ll be damned if I say I’m not the happiest wife to be in this place with you. This journey has tried my emotions in more ways than one, and not once did you back down and leave my side. And guess what?! I even went the extra mile to confess my love and appreciation for you publicly today… And write an extra blog post this week. Say what?!
BUT, that’s what I do. I tell the world why I’m so blessed to have you and reflect on this moment before life really changes. Charlee can look back years down the road and see how much momma loved daddy, and what a husband entails for a woman.
Do you remember this past Sunday when Pastor Tim asked the question at the end of his sermon, “Who in your life has influenced you on your walk with God? Did someone bring you closer to Him and show you Jesus’ love?” You probably don’t recall why I looked at you after he asked that, but I looked at you because that person is you. You know I grew up in a church-going home, but our way of a relationship with God was different than what you were raised with. I know 100% I would not be where I am spiritually if it were not for you, Danny. You’ve shown me and remind me on the daily the love our God has for us, and I promise you, without that, I wouldn’t be the believer I am today, and be as appreciative as I am for our daughter.
You’re probably wondering why am I writing you a letter here? Why not do it the way I always have on a notebook piece of paper, leave it by your keys in the morning and wait to hear your reaction later in the day, and for you to find it in your keepsakes months or years down the road for us to reread. Well, you know why. You know I wanted to document this journey in such a different way so I can maybe, just maybe give another person hope on this journey of infertility.
I tell you often lately that as excited as I am to be a parent with you, it’s also a bittersweet moment that it won’t be ‘just us’. I know this change is going to strengthen our marriage on a completely different level. I know we’ll be tested in ways we never knew imaginable, but there is absolutely no other person I would want to share this with.
You’ve been my soulmate, best friend, and greatest supporter one can ever ask for. Looking back on this journey, our marriage, and this pregnancy, I have fallen more in love with you than I ever thought. I don’t tell you enough, but a simple “thank you” goes so far!
I’m so damn proud to be your wife and support you in all you do. I support being a football wife. I support being your CrossFit wife, but most of all, I support just being your wife. You’re one of the hardest working men I know, and you do it all without a single complaint. I’ve always been told, “a girl usually marries what her father is”, and I tell my mom more often than not that’s who you are. My dad, as you know, is very loving, hardworking, and a Jesus lover. You happen to be all the above and more for me!
I know, Danny, without a doubt you are going to be THE BEST father to our baby girl. I think she knows she has her daddy wrapped around that little finger already! I know you’re going to show her things that I can’t, and you’ll protect her in more ways imaginable. I know we often joke that she’ll be close to you until she hits her teen years, then be hooked to her momma, but I know you’ll have a special bond with her that her & I will never have. You’ll teach her the fundamentals of being a strong girl in today’s world, and morals. I certainly will too, but a bond between a father and daughter is one I would never interfere with.
These next 4 weeks might be 4 or maybe 2 until she is here. We just never know. One thing I do know is I want to enjoy every last second you and I have as just, “Danny & Nikki”. Thank you for being the man you are. Thank you for supporting me 100+% in all I do with my blog, work, and my other 10 hobbies I pick up throughout the year. You’re the most amazing person ever, and I’m blessed beyond measure to have you as my soulmate. I love you with all of my heart, and I’m ready! I’m ready to take on this next journey with you and create more memories!!! I love you to the moon & back, Bub!